Japanese Wedding Speech: Traditions, Tips, and Examples
A practical guide to japanese wedding wedding speech — what to say, how to structure it, and examples to steal.
A Japanese wedding speech sits inside one of the most carefully structured wedding cultures in the world. There is an order of speakers, a set of traditional formal greetings, a list of forbidden words, and an expectation of respect that runs through every sentence. If you are writing one — whether for a traditional Shinto ceremony in Kyoto, a hotel reception in Tokyo, or a diaspora wedding anywhere from Los Angeles to São Paulo — the single biggest thing to understand is this: warmth and formality are not opposites in Japan. They work together.
This guide walks through what a Japanese wedding speech traditionally includes, the imikotoba (words to avoid), seven practical tips, and two complete example speeches: one for a boss or senior guest (shukuji), one for a close friend.
Table of Contents
- The role of speeches at a Japanese wedding
- Imikotoba: the words to avoid
- Tip 1: Open with a formal greeting
- Tip 2: Introduce yourself clearly
- Tip 3: Tell one story, respectfully
- Tip 4: Offer words of encouragement to the couple
- Tip 5: Avoid forbidden words in every form
- Tip 6: Honor the families
- Tip 7: Close with a wish and a bow
- Shukuji speech example (senior guest / boss)
- Close friend speech example
- FAQ
The role of speeches at a Japanese wedding
Japanese wedding receptions traditionally follow a set program. Shukuji (祝辞) are formal congratulatory speeches given by a small number of senior guests. Tomobito no supiichi (友人のスピーチ) are friend speeches, usually one or two. There is often a kampai (乾杯) toast early in the reception from a particularly respected guest, and letters to the parents near the end.
Each format has its own tone. Shukuji are dignified and structured. Friend speeches can be warmer and lightly funny. The kampai is short and celebratory. Know which you are giving and match the register.
Here is the thing: Japanese wedding culture rewards brevity. A four-minute speech that is deeply respectful and lands one clear emotional note will always be remembered more fondly than a ten-minute speech that tries to do everything.
Imikotoba: the words to avoid
Imikotoba (忌み言葉) are words considered unlucky or inappropriate at Japanese weddings. They fall into three categories:
- Words of separation or ending: wakareru (separate), kireru (cut), owaru (end), hanareru (part), modoru (return), kaeru (go back)
- Words suggesting repetition: kasanegasane (again and again), iroiro (various), tabitabi (repeatedly), mata (again) in the context of marriage
- Direct negative or unlucky words: shinu (die), yabureru (break), otosu (drop), nakusu (lose)
If you are giving the speech in Japanese, these words should be avoided in any form. If you are giving the speech in English, do not worry about translating this exhaustively, but know that concepts like "breaking up," "ending," "again," or "starting over" are best rephrased. Speak about continuation, building, growing, deepening.
Tip 1: Open with a formal greeting
A Japanese wedding speech opens with a clear, formal greeting. Even in an English-language speech, a single Japanese phrase at the opening signals respect.
Common openings:
"Shinrou shinpu no omedetou gozaimasu. Congratulations to the bride and groom, and thank you to both families for the honor of being here today."
Or fully in English:
"To the Tanaka and Yamamoto families, and to Hiroshi and Mika, it is my great honor to stand and speak today."
No nervous jokes. No "bear with me." Open with respect.
Tip 2: Introduce yourself clearly
Before you say anything about the couple, introduce yourself with full name and relationship. This is expected in Japanese wedding speeches in a way it often is not at Western weddings.
"My name is Sato Kenji. I have been Hiroshi's classmate since our first year at Waseda University, and for the past eight years we have also been colleagues at Mitsubishi Trading Company."
Full introduction, clean, polite. Then you move into the story.
Tip 3: Tell one story, respectfully
The core of a Japanese wedding speech is one memory that shows something true about the person being honored. Keep it affectionate, keep it specific, and keep it dignified.
When Akiko gave her friend Mika's wedding speech in Osaka, she did not list Mika's accomplishments. She told one story: the day in their second year of nursing school when a patient Mika had been caring for passed away, and Mika sat in the break room for ten minutes, composed herself, washed her face, and went back out to check on the family. Three minutes. No dramatic framing. Just the quiet dignity of the image. The room remembered it for years.
Quick note: do not tell stories that embarrass the groom or bride in front of their colleagues and parents. This is not the culture for a roast. Keep the dignity intact.
Tip 4: Offer words of encouragement to the couple
After the story, Japanese wedding speeches traditionally move into hanamuke no kotoba (はなむけの言葉) — words of encouragement or parting wisdom for the couple. This is where you offer one concrete, thoughtful piece of advice or blessing.
Examples:
- "Hiroshi, please continue being the kind of person who listens first. Mika, please continue being the kind of person who tells him the hard truth. Together, that is a strong partnership."
- "A marriage is built slowly. Please take care of each other in the small moments — the tired evenings, the quiet Sundays — because those are where a life together actually grows."
One or two sentences. Sincere. Not performative.
Tip 5: Avoid forbidden words in every form
The truth is: even guests who have attended many Japanese weddings sometimes slip up. Read your speech out loud specifically listening for imikotoba. Substitute:
- Instead of "ending," use "next chapter" or "deepening"
- Instead of "starting over," use "building on"
- Instead of "again," rephrase to avoid repetition implications
- Instead of "break," use "carry" or "hold"
If your speech will be translated or partially delivered in Japanese, ask a Japanese-speaking friend or family member to review the translation. This is a courtesy that is noticed and appreciated.
Tip 6: Honor the families
Japanese weddings are deeply family-oriented. Thank both families explicitly, using the surnames (last name first in Japanese order is traditional, but follow the family's preference):
"To the Tanaka family and the Yamamoto family, thank you for raising two people of such kindness and integrity, and for welcoming all of us into this day."
If grandparents are present, a specific nod to them lands beautifully. A deep bow at this point is appropriate.
Tip 7: Close with a wish and a bow
End with a clear wish for the couple's future and a bow to the couple, then to both sets of parents. The final line:
"Mika-san, Hiroshi-san. May your life together be full of peace, kindness, and small daily joys. Omedetou gozaimasu."
Then bow. The bow matters. Do not rush it.
For related cultural speech frameworks, see chinese wedding speech and african american wedding speech, both of which share the value of honoring family structure clearly.
Shukuji speech example (senior guest / boss)
A 5-minute shukuji speech from the groom's manager at a Tokyo wedding:
"Ladies and gentlemen, to the Nakamura and Saito families, and to Takashi and Yuki: congratulations. It is my deep honor to stand and offer these words today.
My name is Watanabe Ichiro. I have been Takashi's manager at our firm for six years, and I hope I can say, also his friend.
When Takashi first joined our department, he was the youngest member of a team working on a particularly difficult client account. For the first six months, he said very little in meetings. I wondered, to be honest, whether he was the right fit. Then one day, in the seventh month, we faced a serious problem with a delivery timeline. The client was frustrated. The team was stuck. In that meeting, Takashi quietly raised his hand and presented a fully researched alternative solution. He had been listening for six months and thinking carefully the entire time. That was the Takashi I came to know. He listens first, then he acts with precision.
Yuki-san, I had the pleasure of meeting you at our company's summer gathering two years ago, and within five minutes of our conversation, I understood why Takashi had become even more focused and even kinder than before. You bring out his best qualities in a way that is rare and beautiful.
To both families, thank you for raising two people who carry themselves with such care and integrity. My wish for you, Takashi and Yuki, is this: build your life together slowly and deliberately. Take care of the small moments. Listen to each other the way you have each learned to listen to the world.
Omedetou gozaimasu. I wish you a long and peaceful life together."
Close friend speech example
A 4-minute friend speech at a Japanese wedding reception:
"Hajimemashite. To the Ito and Kimura families, and to Aiko and Kenta: omedetou gozaimasu.
My name is Ogawa Mari. Aiko and I have been best friends since our first day of high school, when we were assigned to sit next to each other in homeroom and discovered within one hour that we both owned the exact same pencil case, which neither of us had seen in any store, ever.
I want to tell you one story about Aiko. When we were in our second year of university, I failed an exam I had studied hard for. I called her crying at eleven o'clock at night, from a train platform in the rain, convinced I had ruined my life. Aiko was in Fukuoka, six hours away. She did not try to talk me out of my feelings. She said, 'Stay on the phone. I will stay with you while you walk home.' And she did. She stayed on the phone for forty-seven minutes while I walked from the station to my apartment in the rain. She did not hang up until I was inside with tea.
That is who Aiko is. She stays on the phone. She walks you home in the rain, even from six hours away.
Kenta-san, the first time Aiko spoke about you, she said, 'He is kind in the way that does not ask for credit.' I have watched you these past three years and I think she was exactly right. You have become part of our friendship, not by replacing anything, but by adding warmth.
To the Ito and Kimura families, thank you for raising two people who know how to show up for the people they love. My wish is simple. May your home be a place where both of you feel steady. May you always stay on the phone until the other one is safely home. Omedetou gozaimasu."
If you are writing across cultures and want more templates that honor two traditions at once, bilingual wedding speech has practical frameworks for doing exactly that.
FAQ
Q: What is a shukuji speech at a Japanese wedding?
Shukuji (祝辞) is a formal congratulatory speech given by a respected guest, often a boss, mentor, or senior family friend. It typically runs 3 to 5 minutes, opens with a formal greeting, and follows a clear structure: self-introduction, story about the couple, words of encouragement, closing wish.
Q: What words should I avoid in a Japanese wedding speech?
Avoid "imikotoba" (忌み言葉) — words associated with separation, repetition, or ending. Common ones to skip: wakareru (separate), kireru (cut), owaru (end), kaeru (return), and repeated words like "again and again." Substitute neutral phrasing.
Q: Should I speak in Japanese or English at a Japanese wedding?
Lead in whatever language fits your comfort and the couple's audience. A short Japanese phrase or blessing (for example, "omedetou gozaimasu") at the opening and closing is always appreciated, even in an otherwise English speech.
Q: How long should a Japanese wedding speech be?
Three to five minutes for most guests. Shukuji from a senior figure can run up to seven. Respecting time is itself a sign of respect in Japanese wedding culture, so err on the shorter side.
Q: Is humor appropriate in a Japanese wedding speech?
Light humor is welcome, especially from close friends. Avoid roast-style jokes, anything at the expense of family, and teasing about weight, appearance, or past relationships. Self-deprecating humor lands better than punching outward.
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